Well, it is back to school time. It seems that the last half of summer flew by in a whirlwind – at times quite literally. The past two months have been quite eventful in a way that it seems difficult to find a moment of respite to regather and regroup.
In order to provide context, we need to back up a bit. About 18 months ago we put in a deposit with a dog breeder for a puppy from an upcoming litter. Seems crazy? Sure, but this isn't just any dog. We specifically wanted a German Shorthair Pointer from a particular GSP breeder in Kansas. I told you – crazy! We waited for over a year and then drove halfway across the country to get the dog. But when you are looking for well-bred hunting dogs, this is what you do.
Fast forward to this past Memorial Day - our new puppy was born. And 8 weeks later we all piled into our 2002 Ford Excursion with our 29-foot travel trailer in tow and we set out on a cross-country adventure to meet our new puppy. Our plan was to make several stops along the way in Indiana, St. Louis, Oklahoma and finally Kansas visiting the sights and seeing family along the way.
It didn't take long for the trip to live up to the full meaning of the word adventure. Day 1 was a reasonably uneventful, 90-degree, Midwest day except for the noticeable lack of air conditioning in our vehicle. A quick DIY recharge the next morning and we were off to see St. Louis and ascend the iconic gateway arch.
Having visited the arch, we hooked up on day 3 in preparation to travel to Oklahoma City. The only problem... as we were finishing connecting the trailer, the brake pedal went to the floor. A quick survey of the vehicle revealed a pinhole leak in the driver side, front brake line. So, we ditched the trailer in a nearby parking lot and drove to the nearest shop (in downtown St. Louis) using the last little bit of pressure in the break line and a healthy amount of emergency brake to stop our truck in the service shop’s parking lot. But after an impromptu, unplanned extra day to do some sight-seeing in downtown St. Louis, we were back on our way. The only catch… we had an 8-hour drive to OKC that we were beginning at 6PM.
The drive to Oklahoma City was relatively uneventful (considering a delirious 4AM arrival) and the next day’s drive from OKC to Wichita was a breeze. Morning dawned on day 5. It was the day that we had been long awaiting for the past 18 months - puppy pick up day. It was time to get ready to go. I put the key in the ignition, turned it and... nothing. The truck wouldn't start. After a long series of troubleshooting steps including jumping the truck, checking fuses and relays, and trying to short the starter (nothing like trying to start a 9000 lb diesel truck just inches from your face), I finally (out of frustration as much as diagnostically) took a hammer and forcefully hit the starter and solenoid several times. Next attempt the truck started right up. Off to meet our pup and spend the rest of the day enjoying our dog.
The trip home was almost the reverse. It started with a long 8-hour day of driving. But instead of OKC, we stopped by the Laura Ingles Wilder homestead, the Uranus Fudge Factory and spent the night outside St. Louis. We were anticipating day 7 to be a refreshingly quick 5-hour drive from St. Louis to eastern Indiana. We planned a quick stopped in Greenup, IL for fuel and a bathroom break. But while I was parking the trailer in a lot full of semi-trucks, the steering on the truck failed. This time, the front tie bar broke – specifically the adjustment link. We weren’t going anywhere.
To make a long story short, we spent 30 hours in a Loves Truck Stop parking lot getting our tie bar fixed. But finally, with a new adjustment link in place, and completely exhausted, we finished the trek home.
Fast forward one week one more time. As we were re-establishing the normal rhythm of our lives, my wife and I were taking our children to their piano lessons when we received a warning of severe weather and instructed to find shelter. As we were inside a sudden, intense storm passed overhead. But unknown to us at the time, just over 15 miles north a tornado was ripping through our neighborhood. I proceeded on to a trauma shift in the ED while my wife returned home – only to find most of the roads closed, electric lines down, trees broken and no power. Thus began a week of clean-up, generator power and no internet (actually just a bit refreshing on the last one).
Lessons learned
It goes without saying that events surrounding the end of July and the beginning of August were just a bit stressful and pushed us outside of our comfort zone. But as these events are prone to do, they also gave us fertile ground to learn and reinforce some good lessons in resilience and excellence. Here are a few thoughts.
The importance of being prepared
One thing that these experiences have reinforced to me is the importance of being prepared. I’m not sure if it is a natural tendency or something that has been developed in me as a result of my training in emergency medicine and my previous experience working as an EMT and firefighter. But as I approach various situations, I find myself thinking through plausible scenarios and preemptively preparing for potential problems.
For the camper, this means I recognize that we have an old vehicle that is prone to mechanical problems. As a result, I carry various tools and a complete mechanic set of wrenches and sockets in our trailer. Additionally, I have begun to carry a crate with the different types of fluids for the truck. This level of preparedness has saved us on multiple occasions.
At home we do similar things. Most obviously, I keep a generator and gas ready for a power outage in order to keep the lights, refrigerator and water pump running. If the power goes out in the winter, we have a stack of firewood that we can burn for heat. More recently we have begun to keep a reserve of things like paper towels, and toilet paper. And as a result of this experience, we are going to begin to keep a reserve of potable water as well.
One of the common feelings that I have encountered as I face various difficult situations is a realization that our modern existence is rather fragile. And when certain things are stripped away, I feel a profound sense of vulnerability. If we step back and detach from our day-to-day existence, it is easy to see how we take many things for granted.
So, ask yourself, if I strip away some of the things that that I rely on like electricity, water, heat, what would I do? These things are basic necessities. What will I do when they are taken away? Do I have a backup means of providing them for myself and for my family? How can I maintain a degree of self-reliance for myself and my family? Where are my vulnerabilities?
As you begin to answer these questions, run tabletop exercises either in your head or with your family. Identify something that you rely on and eliminate that thing. How would you respond? What steps can you take that mitigate the negative effects of losing that thing? If you don’t have it immediately available to you at home, how can you supplement somewhere else? These are important questions to ask. If you don’t ask the questions, you won’t have the answers when you need them. And the consequences are not just a lack of preparedness. Failing to prepare yourself will make you vulnerable.
Build resilience
There is a famous quote that states the only two things that are certain in life are death and taxes. While this statement is unequivocally correct, it is probably also reasonable to add the certainty of suffering in life. Life is hard and all of us will from time to time experience some degree of suffering. The question is how resilient are you when suffering comes?
As we look at the idea of suffering, we can break it down into two main categories. These are involuntary suffering and voluntary suffering. Involuntary suffering is what we have described. These are the things that happen to us that are out of our control. Whether it is experiencing a weeklong power outage in the wake of a tornado or more severe forms like living under the oppression of malevolent authorities, suffering will come. How will you fare under the weight of suffering and how will you prepare?
Voluntary suffering on the other hand is that suffering that you impose upon yourself. It is intentionally putting yourself in the path of hard things. It is engaging in things that aren’t pleasant and things that are a challenge for you. It is depriving yourself of comfort when comfort is available.
Since involuntary suffering happens outside of our control, it is important for us to prepare ourselves for these times, so that instead of folding up like a cheap lawn chair we can not just endure with dignity and excellence but also emerge on the other side stronger and better. Doing this requires a healthy dose of committing to voluntary suffering for the sake of building resilience.
Borrowing an example from the gym, the daily discipline to get up early and exercise is an example of engaging in involuntary suffering. Yes, it has desirable effects on physique and abilities, but enduring the pain in the process develops a grit and discipline that is absolutely necessary to sustain us when other uncomfortable and difficult situations arise. Mentally you know you have the strength to do what is physically required of you and you know you have the grit to endure until the end. So, understanding that suffering will meet you, lean into difficult things, and when minor suffering comes, lean into these times as they will help, you become more prepared for larger amounts of suffering. If you set the high bar for what you can endure on a daily basis through voluntary suffering, you may find that the thing which previously would be considered involuntary suffering is now nothing more than a minor inconvenience. And when larger things happen, you know that you have the strength and the mental fortitude to proceed, step-by-step, day by day and endure with grace, dignity, and excellence
Suffering brings out your real character
One of the phrases that I have been telling myself on repeat is the person you are when you are in a stressful situation is the person you really are. Stress has a unique ability to strip away all of our pretense and self-deception and expose the truth of who we really are. Yes, in many ways these stressful situations exposed the fact that I do like to be prepared. But I also got to witness my own natural response to stress. I was reminded that under stress I have a tendency toward quick tempered irritability. These situations showed me that there are weeds in my garden that need to be pulled and that I have further work to do as I seek to develop excellence in the good times and in the difficult times.
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