A life lived in default mode as a reaction to events will end up being less effective than one that is intentional. We have discussed how the excellence compass helps us see the big picture as we navigate our journey (see diagram). But making the daily decisions of life requires not just a vision of the broader landscape but a granular understanding of priorities. When the two roads diverge in the yellow wood, we need to have a protocol to help us decide how to choose which path to travel.
In the previous post we began discussing a linear way to begin to understand our priorities. We discussed how faith is important because it is not just fundamental to our worldview, but it is also the basis of all authority in our lives. Having covered faith, this brings us to the second priority: Family.
I was reading a book about the relationship between tech and family recently and the author noted that we have been created to live in relationship with our creator and with one another.[i] Our very nature, and the nature of civil society is predicated on the idea that we as human beings live in community with one another - and the smallest, most fundamental unit of relationship is the family.
From a societal perspective, the family is this seed where society is reproduced. It is in the context of the family where children are trained how to engage with others. It is where we pass on traditions and values. The family is a protective blanket where you are able to make mistakes and be loved anyway. The family is the community that should always be there for you. Family is the fertile soil where all other markers of success and fulfillment grow.
Now, I am not so naïve as to assume that this reality is manifest in all families. The emergency department stands as one giant testimony to what happens when the family unit is fractured or does not operate as intended. But that does not invalidate the idea of family. Rather it reinforces the supreme importance of the family.
In his book, Them: Why we Hate Each Other and How to Heal, author Ben Sasse reflecting on factors that are affecting the collapse of culture writes, "Kids with intact families and all the social capital associated with intact families tend to be able to navigate the bumps and disruptions that life inevitably brings. But kids raised without stable families and without that crucial source of capital are often crippled by even modest impediments.”[ii]
There is a great deal a of data connecting the presence of an intact and functional family with financial, educational, and social success in future generations.[iii]
Living in the context of an intact family also confers significant health benefits. A report by the Center for Disease Control (CDC) suggests that married adults tend to be healthier than their non-married counterparts.[iv] And multiple studies show a connection between marriage and mental health, physical health, and longevity.[v]
Husbands need the loving support of their wives. Wives need the cherishing, sacrificial love of their husbands. Children need their parents tender love and firm discipline. Brothers and sisters need the friction but unconditional dedication that only siblings can provide. So, as we look at the priorities in life and after we properly orient ourselves vertically, the first and most important of relationships and priorities that we find on the horizontal plane are found in our families.
[i] Andy Crouch, The Tech Wise Family, © 2017 Andy Crouch, Baker Books
[ii] Ben Sasse, Them © 2018 Ben Sasse, St. Martin Press
[iii] https://ifstudies.org/blog/do-two-parents-matter-more-than-ever, Accessed 2024-05-14
[v] https://www.focusonthefamily.com/marriage/the-health-benefits-of-marriage, Accessed 2024-05-14
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