If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise...
For most of my adult life I have been trying to answer the question, "What is a Man?" - not in some biological sense but in a functional and philosophical sense. Life automatically marches through the various stages of infancy, childhood, adolescence, and adulthood. But one fact that is apparent is that age does not automatically confer maturity. And for guys, adulthood does not automatically bring with it the title of manhood.
As I myself have grown into adulthood, one of my personal aims has been attempting to define the qualities that differentiate someone as a boy or as a man. And now that I have boys of my own, finding the answer has become even more important. It is no longer just a personal goal of understanding for the sake of application. Answering this question now has real gravitas as I try to lead my boys into manhood by both my words and by my example.
The problem is that finding a definition can be challenging. In one sense we know manhood when we see it personified. We admire those who exhibit the presence of manliness. And in the opposite sense, we know when we see an absence of true manhood - whether that be immaturity in a child or the abdication of manhood in those who are older. Society does not help either as it actively seeks to devalue and denigrate men.
This book addresses the idea of manhood and masculinity. It is an attempt define what it means to be a manly man and to demonstrate manly manhood as attractive. It is an attempt to rediscover what we have lost by discarding genuine masculinity for a weak and sham version of what it means to be a man.
The author, Stephen Mansfield, begins by creating a robust, biblical understanding of what it means to be a manly man. In part 1, he lays out 4 basic principles, the foundation, of what it means to be manly man. These are:
Manly men do manly things - Masculinity is not just about being, it is about doing.
Manly men will tend their fields - Masculinity takes responsibility for what is in his care so that it will thrive.
Manly men build manly men - Masculinity is intentionally reproductive and contagious
Manly men live to the glory of God - Masculinity is moored to a higher calling and vision of the world than living for oneself.
After laying this foundation, Mansfield then describes different facets of masculinity. He discusses 16 different character qualities that paint a portrait of manly men. With each, he uses a biographical character sketch not only to describe each quality but also to demonstrate and show its practical application.
I found this book to be extremely helpful and inspiring. Where other books that I have read lay out the theological foundation of masculinity, they lack in providing profound inspiration. This book, firmly rooted in a biblical understanding of mature masculinity, also acknowledges that there is a certain amount of grit, resilience, strength, and gravitas required to be a manly man. It appeals not only to the head but also to the heart.
But this book is not just an inspiring, contemporary, and biblical St. Crispin's day speech or locker room pep-talk. It is both practical guide and mirror. It will show the path of manhood and at the same allow you see to yourself and reflect on who you are as a man. For me, no sooner than I finished this book, I was placed in the crucible and given the opportunity to ask myself and apply the questions: Is this what a manly man would do?
...If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
~Rudyard Kipling, from "If"
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