I am pretty excited! They days are getting longer, the weather is warming up and the trees are starting to leaf out. Summer is coming. I love this time of year - shaking off the winter blues, getting back outside, mowing the lawn, doing projects.
I imagine we can all think back with fond recollection about many of the summers when we were kids. Unhurried play, freedom to use our time for fun and not to accomplish the requirements of school. Now that I am a parent I have come full circle. I get to watch my own kids enjoy the unhurried freedom of summer.
Not long ago I ran across the idea that as parents we get 18 summers with our kids - that's it. By that I mean that they will always be my children and with any luck, I will always have a good relationship. But there is a short period of time where my kids will live in my home and a finite number of summers of unhurried freedom that they get to enjoy. Right now (apart from time at work) I get to see them when they come down the stairs in the morning until I tuck them in bed a night. But soon that will change. It dawned on me the other day, that my oldest is already half-way to driving.
This finite time is not limited to enjoying being with my kids. In the same way that I have a limited time to enjoy being with my kids, I have an equally limited time to influence them, to teach them to be effective members of society and hopefully impart my values on them.
So how do we see past the pressures of the business of our day-to-day lives, clinical practices or career needs and capitalize on the few summers that we have with our kids? Here are some of my ideas.
Make a plan
It has been said that if you fail to plan you are planning to fail. It seems that there is always something competing with what we ought to be doing. Between a clinical practice, keeping the lawn mowed, paying bills and whatever else competes for our time. Slowing down and spending time with our kids unfortunately doesn't always just happen naturally. I find that in order to accomplish my priorities (at home or work), I need to make a plan and then execute on that plan. Whether it be a list of things you want to do or places you want to go, make a plan.
Take a vacation
Last year, we took a trip as a family to St. Simon's Island in Georgia (granted, it was for Spring Break - but the principle still applies). After we got home and showed off our pictures, my sister-in-law said that I looked more relaxed than I have looked in a long while. I am not sure what that looks like in a picture, but as I reflected back on the trip, I had to agree. Despite the long hours of driving and logistics of doing a "vacation" with multiple small children (and a young puppy), I did find the trip relaxing and refreshing. I think the key was that we got away from our normal environment and had nothing to do but enjoy being together. So, whether you go somewhere close or somewhere far, take time off, plan a trip and go. Experience something new together. Whatever RVUs you forfeit, the time you get in exchange will pay far greater dividends.
Go Camping
There is something rewarding about camping. This is said by someone who has found himself sleeping in a cold puddle and someone who split his pants carrying food down an embankment (those weren't my most sanctified moments). But like going on a vacation, camping is a great opportunity to get out of your normal routine and live a little more simply and a little closer to nature for a few nights. There is something to be said for sitting with your kids by the fire late at night, making s'mores and rekindling a fire early on a crisp morning. So whether you go in your back yard or find a choice campground, go camping. Use it as an opportunity to teach your kids how to build a fire, cook the perfect s'more, set up a tent and to rely less on your screens.
Plan Microadventures
Several years ago, I heard an interview with @Al_Humphreys about the concept of microadventures. In this interview he argued that we often don't pursue large "Adventures" because of all the necessary and requisite steps that serve as barriers (costs, preparation, packing, planning, etc). But if we changed our focus to small, manageable, short "Microadventures" we would be more likely to get out and be adventurous. He defines microadventures as those that are "short, simple, local, cheap – yet still fun, exciting, challenging, refreshing and rewarding." Last summer, on the Saturdays that I had off, we did just this. We did hikes at local nature preserves, played at the beach and went to see a steam train.
Get Exercise Together
Fitness is an important part of the excellent life. But sometimes it seems that taking time to workout competes with spending time together as a family. But that doesn't have to be the case. Workout together! Go for a family bike ride or walk. Or if you run, go running with your kids. Both of my older boys can ride bikes now without training wheels. I have taken each of them with me while running. And they both look forward to our "Bike/Runs" and ask to go.
Do projects together
Sometimes you just have to get things done, or just want to do some special project. To the extent possible, involve your kids in doing the project. This is a good opportunity to spend time together as well as teach them valuable skills. When my boys turned 5, I took each of them to Home Depot and helped them pick out a tool box. For each successive birthday I buy a new tool for their box. My goal is that they have a quality starter tool kit by the time they leave the house and start building a sense of resourcefulness. They love getting out their tool boxes when we work on projects to try using their tools. Though they don't yet understand the whole process, I have involved them in framing a chicken coop, building a sand box, fixing brakes, wood working and other projects. At minimum it is an opportunity to spend time. But hopefully it starts building resourcefulness and handiness and gives them skills for their own projects some day.
How many summers do you have left? Mine are going quickly. And while work is important and caring for patients is rewarding, raising my kids well, shepherding them through their childhood and creating lasting memories is far more important!
These are a few of my ideas about maximizing time with our kids when they are young. But these ideas are certainly not an exhaustive list. Leave your ideas in the comments.
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